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Ass Squirts - Review Cover
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Director: Thomas Zupko
Posted: March 27, 2011
Run time: 129 Min (2 hr 9 min)
Reviewer: Jack Dup
Reaction: Very Good
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Summary:
      Final Rating: 7.5
Final Thoughts: This movie strikes me as a cheap attempt at being controversial. For all, but the second scene, Zupko uses a rather pathetic set that's intended to replicate a church. Instead of pews, they go with a couple of park benches. Overhead lights are covered with colored cellophane in a sad effort at creating a stained-glass window effect. Luckily, just about any idiot can put a cross together from a few pieces of wood. In both the first and final scenes, a deformed, naked midget wearing a crown of thorns is tied to a cross. As if his looks weren't enough of a buzz kill, he yells at the performers as they have sex. The ass squirts are interesting and the action tends to be intense, but it tends to be poorly captured in this lousy setting. If it weren't for the sad effort at making a statement, which frequently overwhelms the action on screen, this might've been a better movie.
Extras:
      Body Fluid Reels, Bonus Scene with Paris Gables, Interviews, BTS, Photo Gallery, Trailers, Web Access
Details:
Scene 1
Amber Rayne, Heather Gables, Brett Rockman, Diablo
      This strange movie starts with a disclaimer about how the footage is not intended to demean organized religion. It's supposed to be a commentary on how distorted and twisted God's teachings have become. Heather (as Paris) starts by deep throating a riding crop. This results in her puking, and more than a couple of times. Because of a visual effect, the views as this happens are poor. Once the scene begins in earnest, Amber deep throats Rockman's cock and gets her face fucked thanks to assists from Paris. Amber's ass is doused in oil, but it's her vagina that is first penetrated. When her rear is tapped, it's done with a good amount of energy. Paris makes her presence known by occasionally stopping by so that she can squirt water from her ass onto Amber's face. The latter does the ATM thing a couple of times. Brett's got a big load to offer up, but most of it misses Amber's face. One last ass-squirt from Paris, which is intended to supplement the facial, is heralded by Paris's proclaiming, "This is holy water, bitch!"
Scene 2
Lisa Ann, Brett Rockman
      Dressed as an angel, Lisa sticks to sucking Brett's schlong in this scene. Her ample fake tits get oiled up and screwed. Initially, her oral isn't that impressive. When Brett forces the issue, Lisa seems to realize that he's determined to get sucked off in a more fervent fashion. She's left with a solid facial.
Scene 3
Rebecca Steel, Nick East
      Not sure what Zupko is getting at, but there's a guy in a cage with a mask on. For quite a few minutes, he's groaning as if in great pain. Rebecca spits on him and also squirts him with her ass. Nick's entrance doesn't quite signal the end of the caged freak, as Rebecca blows for a bit before the weirdo departs. She gets her face fucked and then Nick moves on to her puss. There's some good banging prior to switching to Rebecca's rear. She goes from ass to mouth once before having her mouth coated with a decent amount of cum.
Scene 4
Felony, Rebecca Steel, Rick Masters
      Masters is dressed as a preacher and he launches into a diatribe about sex and sin. When he's through, he gets an intense double blowjob from the girls. Felony's oral efforts are perhaps the best I've ever seen. She ends up puking a good four times as a result of her attempts at taking the dick deep. Although I don't find this sexy, you've gotta give her credit for her exerting herself like this. The majority of the sex here is for Felony. Rebecca makes her presence felt by ass squirting quite well. She gives Rick a couple of facials as well as a filthy mouthful. Felony continues to impress by taking it up the rear and going from ass to mouth more than a couple of times. Rick's facial isn't anything special.
Scene 5
Amber Rayne, Missy Monroe, Rick Masters, Valentino, Diablo
      Again we're confronted with a controversial preacher. This time it's Valentino, who stands at the pulpit and repeatedly yells, "Cum! Whores! I want cum!" His audience consists solely of Missy Monroe, who is soon oiled up and eaten out. Valentino continues to try and strike a controversial chord by saying, "I've found Jesus; he's here in her ass!" As Valentino munches on Missy, Amber squirts on his face and shoulder about five times. Missy's depth while blowing is good and so too is her energy. Strangely, when it comes time for the sex, Valentino pulls a disappearing trick. Perhaps the ass squirts were too much for him. Rick takes over, and Amber fires off additional squirts as he's plowing away at Missy's puss and ass. Amber's bum-bum isn't spared and, like Missy, she gives us ATM action. Rick's seed flows weakly from his cock onto each chin.
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