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This Ain't Dracula XXX
(2011)
Buy it here:
Featuring:
Brandy Aniston, Bridgett B., Jennifer Dark, Jessie Palmer, Krissy Lynn, Marie McCray, Alan Stafford, Evan Stone, Joey Brass, Ryan Driller, Tom Byron
Director:
Axel Braun
Posted: October 29, 2011
Run time: 113 Min (1 hr 53 min)
Reviewer:
Terry (PL)
Reaction: Enjoyable
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Summary:
This one gets a 7.00. As I stated before, I have never seen the movie this was a parody of, so I have no idea what was condensed here. Add to that the movie didn't really seem
to be coherent. Maybe the original is the same way... Additionally, the sex overall on this title was lacking. The only two scenes that were above average were Krissy's scene and
my favorite, the final scene, with Jessie taking anal. That was a really good scene! Technically, the movie looked fantastic. The picture was really clear, even for a DVD, but the
sex scenes were pretty dimly lit, but I'm assuming that's to keep with the tone of the movie. Also, as a closing note, there was also a 3D version coupled with this release.
I tried watching this version, but it was terrible. The red/blue glasses didn't do this movie justice. The colors were really off and the dept that the 3D was supposed to provide,
was almost nonexistent. At best I'd recommend this to couples looking for a decent feature flick, but I wouldn't recommend it much past that.
Extras:
The bonus features were better than expected really. There was 22 minute of behind the scenes, which gave us some insight to her first anal, which was in
Elvis XXX: A porn Parody (another Axel Braun directed title, but for
Vivid). Additionally we learn of a mean trick Ron Jeremy played on her... Also, by the looks of the BTS, this movie seemed to be dual directed, Eli Cross was a BIG part of this
production - directing action at times. Moreover, the rest of the extras consisted of a Hustler Hollywood ad, a Hustler.com ad, a slide show, some sex ads and some trailers:
Who's Nailin' Pallin #2
This Ain't Ghostbusters XXX
This Ain't Avatar XXX
This Ain't Baywatch XXX
Taboo: Play Toys
Tori Black Superstar
The BTS were good enough for a .25.
Who's Nailin' Pallin #2
This Ain't Ghostbusters XXX
This Ain't Avatar XXX
This Ain't Baywatch XXX
Taboo: Play Toys
Tori Black Superstar
The BTS were good enough for a .25.
Details:
Scene 1
Brandy Aniston, Bridgett B., Jennifer Dark, Ryan Driller
Let me start by saying, as a Horror fan, I'm ashamed to say I have never seen the Bram Stoker Dracula movies, so forgive me for not knowing how closely this follows the movie.
Although this has prompted me to rent the BluRay 
Transylvania - 1893
Ryan (playing Jonathan Harker) travels to Count Dracula's castle for some business about an estate. Apparently Ryan is there for some time, during which he's visited in his dreams by three sexy ladies!
Transylvania - 1893
Ryan (playing Jonathan Harker) travels to Count Dracula's castle for some business about an estate. Apparently Ryan is there for some time, during which he's visited in his dreams by three sexy ladies!
Brandy is a pretty attractive girl with long brown hair and fake D cup tits. Bridgette is a sexy looking girl with long blonde hair
and fake DD cup tits. Jennifer is a pretty girl with long black hair and fake C cup tits.
Engaging Ryan, the girls start sucking his cock, with Bridgette showing off her deep throating
skills. They all do a nice BJ scene. Brandy gets the first bit of cock while Jennifer and Bridgette keep each other busy, then after a cut we watch as
Bridgette gets her portion of the cock in doggy. Finally Jennifer gets her share,
riding in reverse cowgirl, then it's back to
Brandy in spoon before Ryan pulls out and cums on Brandy's tits. They all take a little taste of the goo and kiss.
Scene 2
Quickly the girls "turn on him", and feeding. Back home with Ryan's future wife, Mina (played by Jessie palmer), she's distraught over her husband's lack of communication with her as she
meets with her friend who's quite the "commodity" with the fellas. However right now, Marie is only interested in the prize before her, Jessie.
Jessie is a sexy looking girl with medium length black hair and natural A cup tits. Marie is a pretty girl with long red hair and
natural B cup tits. Getting Jessie's dress loose and down low enough to expose her boobs, she focuses on them, then the dress is lost totally and she dives in. We got some
pretty decent close-ups shots, showing Jessie's wet pussy!
Marie really gave that pussy a good eating too. So as a reward, Jessie eats her as she stands. I really liked how
Jessie used her tongue here too, licking her clit quickly and then licking around her pussy to tease Marie's clit. Over in doggy,
Marie gets her ass and pussy eaten, as well as pussy finger fucked, then we cut and see Jessie on her back again, and
Marie attacks the pussy with the same vigor.
After looking to cum, Marie lies back for Jessie to finish up. She uses her tongue especially sexy again, but Marie never looked to cum.
Scene 3
Krissy Lynn, Tom Byron
As the Marie develops a condition, Jessie finally hears back from her husband. Begrudgingly leaving Marie in her current state, Jessie heads off to meet up with her husband who's
reportedly suffered a nervous breakdown. Then, when Van Helsing shows up to help the doctor (played by Jack Lawrence), the two have to deal with a much more "dangerous"
patient first - Tom Byron. Seems he's coaxed a girl/nurse to fucking him!
Krissy is a good-looking girl with short blonde hair and fake DD cup tits. With Tom in a straight jacket, Krissy sucks his cock
through a cell door, then enters the cell to get a better "taste". Standing up, she gets it up the ass from behind. It was really nice how she bounced her ass on the cock too, very
sexy! Cutting away, Krissy's over in missionary, still
taking it up the ass.
It was pretty impressive how open she was for Tom, he couldn't use his hands but was still able to pull
all the way out and get back in several time without either one of them having to touch his cock! After looking like she may have had an orgasm, we cut to
her up in cowgirl, still
taking it up the ass. She looked great riding, doing all the work, then she spins around to
reverse cowgirl anal. She gets the cock balls deep too! The scene draws to a close with Krissy on her knees, sucking and
stroking Tom off until she has him cum on her tit.
Scene 4
Marie McCray, Alan Stafford, Joey Brass
After removing Krissy from Tom's cell, we catch up with Jessie returning with her now husband (Ryan), only to find that Marie has passed. Once in the ground, Van Helsing has some ideas
of what may have happened to her, so along with a couple of other fellows, they head out to her grave, finding it empty. As the specialist heads off, he has the other two stay back in case
she returns. And when she does, she glamour's them into fucking her undead body.
The guys start by getting her pale flesh exposed, then she takes a seat,
sucking their cocks. Cutting away, she's in
a modified reverse cowgirl,
basically standing while Alan pumps her pussy from below. Next, Joey gets his turn in her pussy,
fucking her missionary. After a cut, we see Marie on her side, getting
spoon fucked from Alan,
then goes back to missionary with Joey. When he gets close, he pulls out and cums on her belly as Marie gets a facial from Alan.
Scene 5
Jessie Palmer, Evan Stone
As soon as they finish she turns to a vampire, but Van Helsing is there to prevent her from attacking the boys. Putting her down for a second time. Back at the castle, the doctors
confer about what transpired, then there's a blood curdling scream. Running around into the holding area, Tom Byron's character is gone and Dracula stands before them. Somehow he
uses is powers to knock the males out, leaving Jessie standing. He begins seducing her and
she's butter in his arms.
Down to her knees, Jessie sucks on his undead cock, then he tosses her down.
"Opening up" for him, taking him in her pussy. Keeping in character, she looked to be in a trance most of the scene and
telling him to "take me, take me", but still lets some looks of pleasure seep in. Rolling her up, Evan takes a taste of her pussy and ass, then rolls her back down for some more
action on her side/back. He pounds it good too, then we cut to Jessie on her back still as Evan slowly pushes in her ass. As
he pumps away, Jessie starts to really get into it and plunges a couple fingers in her pussy. After another cut, Jessie's on her side, with her back to us, as Evan slips in
her ass some more. He fucks her ass good, then slips back in her pussy, which affords some small ass gapes!
Evan gets going good on her as she begs for it harder, then Jessie gets on her knees to takes the open mouth facial.
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